Nimbus carnival

"Nimbus carnival"
by mario paolo macariola

I grieve for the raindrops
and nimbus carnivals
falling within my walls

for the chimes swaying
by the window,
wailing for thunder and lightning
for the unquenchable.
for desire

I grieve for the dissapearing light,
for the fading day.
for my vision that blurs.
for you,
my unrequited

the wind is driving me away.

you are the morning star
that sings in the voice of thunder,
your eyes are calm lightning.
you are what the sun and moon envied:
my immortal

but the wind is your conviction,
i long for you at arms lenght
the wind is your conviction,
together we are apart

you are what the raindrops
could never wash away

and so
the stormclouds gather
within my walls

Pain faucet

"Pain faucet"
by mario paolo macariola

through her wrists
empties her heart
flows her pain
like a faucet

numb as stone
cold as fog
she wastes away

from her wounds
flows her heart

where lies silence

Christmas

"Christmas"
by mario paolo macariola

it was santa's sled
that flew us over ice cream mountains
as we chased the sunrise
wrapped in ribbons

just like my heart,
that i left on your doorstep
will you pick it up?

I am a dreamer
who imagines
reindeers dancing on sundae cones,
and angels making love
in cotton candy

I am a dreamer
who imagines our hands
bound together by ribbons
as did our hearts
riding santa's sled
chasing christmas

into the sunrise
trailed by unicorns
we shall dance with cupid

Pyro Luster

"Pyro luster"
by mario paolo macariola


I.
everything was swallowed by the bright lights,
spinning and turning- like a vortex
i saw you in the visual discord,
beautiful as strange auroras.
were you counting moths again?

you know very well
how moths are attracted to the light,
your light; beaming from the hundred
sunsets of your face
reconstructing the demise of sodom
and hence its birth: purity

the moths burned
whenever they came too close,
they burned of sin,
the sin of your refusal and my insistence.
an inevitable desire.
--for you are fire.
a bright, warm and forbidding vortex
that pulls me towards its core: a lonely blue,
closer and closer until you see

that i am just a fragile moth.
then it would be too late
for i have been already drawn into your luster,
already dead
and reduced to ashes

II.

I, the moth
shall step away from you: my fire
and silently collect all my ashes into a single clump,
wallow in a few drops of rainwater.
then bask under the sun
for a few seconds
and who knows?
after a day or two,
I might just be whole again

to fly somewhere else
and bathe in another's flames,
to feel the wind on my face,
to adore another's cadence
such as limelight,
or to be intoxicated
by the sun's glow.

and it would never be the same again

I, the moth shall leave your warmth,
your core: blue as ice,
triumphant in the ashes
as a phoenix

III.

For one last time i'll be dancing with the moths,
into your glamour
and light,
into my fire
--into your heart

I, the phoenix
will recklessly indulge in your core,
linger in it;
and see how the world changes
from a lump of rock
to a fistfull of sunlight.

but you, my fire has a soul of ice
that conceals your true self,
like a shroud of paleness,
disguised as blue flame...
you seal away your identity

deep in the recesses
of what remains unknown
lies your desire:
your true flame:
a midnight sun thats hiding
in the darkness,
where also lies my true self:
a moth mesmerized by light,
your illusion which no one else sees

maybe when the flames
finally consume us
shall we reveal our true selves

not as a moth,
phoenix or flame
but as naked souls,
lost in the darkness
starving for light

IV.

Our souls of fire and ice falter,
still we long for the myth of light,
we starve for it:
melancholy burns.

like the flames
that was supposed to consume us
that proved to be nothing more
that illusion,
our grand idea
stretched to the point of truth.

but alas! we had been burned,
not by fire or ice,
but by our true selves
that we had foolishly believed
as naked souls.

now i know.
I am just a moth
pretending to be a phoenix,
while you are just fire,
our cores are ash and frost.

I, the moth had already been reduced to ashes
in the adamance of the wind,
to the pity of envious fireflies.
while you: my fire,
is diminished
and from the howling darkness
you formed the shadows,
where i found sanctuary...
in despair
where i found you,
you,
my fire,
my unrequited,
my death,
my end...

where begins life

Virgos Spoliarium

"Virgo's Spoliarium"

by m.p. macariola

You mused

with Juan Luna

the night you took part

in the carnage of spoliarium

down my back

the warmth of lips

and fingers brushing

every inch,

exposing lust, sorrow and love.

defining envy and greed

for every drop of sweat.

our eyes lock

and i see my soul in yours,

our minds wander

the fields of Van Gogh.

somewhere in it

a petal falls from a sunflower

and we cannot stitch it back,

we were like mirrors without a speck

of guilt,

wathcing the arms

of Venus De Milo

slowly burn away

Night Mirage

"Night Mirage"

by m.p. macariola

tonight i sleep in the arms

of solace

under an empty sky

into profound loneliness

my soul departs

to the far end of the minds vastness

to the shadows that repel light

wherein i shall linger

until the end, until i end

listening to the muted voices

in my head

that mocks me

like crickets

betrayed by

moonlight

illuminates you

now and ever since

you stood westward

bathed in the moon's fragrant silver.

have you come to redeem me?

Ikalawa ng hunyo

"Ikalawa ng hunyo"

by m.p. macariola

nabasa na naman ako sa ulan

sa pag iisa,

sa kalungkutan,

sa kawalan

ngunit di

mararamdaman ng tubig

ang aking pagluha

at di rin maririnig ng kulog

ang aking pagsamo

iiwan mo rin naman ako-

kasama ang liwanag na nilamon na

ng maiitim na ulap.

kasama ang asin ng mga natuyong luhang

umagos sa kanal

lilisan ka ng

marahan...

sisingaw na tila usok

katulad ng ulan

na siyang pumapatak

sa aking pangungulila

Hangal lang ang naibig kay kamatayan

"Hangal lang ang naibig kay kamatayan"

by m.p. macariola

Dinadalaw mo na naman ako

kamatayan,

ngayong nagsimula na ang tagulan,

nakataklob ang iyong mukha,

lumuluha ka kaya?

katulad ko habang

iniisip kung meron

bang karit na nakatago

sa loob ng iyong mahabang mangas,

o luhang natagas sa ilalim ng nakataklob

mong mukha,

kung may puso bang

natibok sa loob ng balabal mong hatingabi

at kung para ba ito sa akin.

ngunit binagsak mo lang ang iyong karit

at tinapos ang aking buhay

gamit ang isang halik

at sabay tumalikod ka't

umalis

di ko man lang nakita ang iyong mukha

o labi, ngunit

naramdaman ko naman

ang iyong luhang

mainit-init pa't

humahalo na rin

sa akin

at ngayon nga'y

lumisan ka na naman

ngunit di katulad ng dati'y

di ka na babalik sa akin

tapos na ang hatingabi at ang aking buhay

tapos na ang lahat sa atin

Hades lament

"Hades lament"

by m.p. macariola

they say im ruthless

with my acts, beliefs

and severity

I, in whose humble chest

only beats winter and sorrow,

I am hades,

the ensemble of pain,

the king of the dead,

and therefore the king of nothing.

and you demeter,

dont know how much

you torment me.

inside me is a harsh winter...

slowly thawing into spring

--it burns.

while I, the ruthlessly pitiful god

could only

watch as i willingly

fall prey to

humanity's most senseless emotion:

love

but what parts us

is the earth and sky,

and so in the underworld,

in the severity of a hundred winters...

i burn alone

Farewell my sunset

"Farewell my sunset"

by m.p. macariola

farewell my sunset

alas. you have burned

me again,

i am scorched to nothing,

i am defeated

be proud that you had hurt me

rejoice at my wounds

and laugh at my pain

I, who was once

among the gods

now suffers

I bid you goodbye,

good riddance as you sink

into the sea,

as you fall

into the forgotten.

and i would not even remember

your light,

you who corroded my sky.

you, my sunset will

be soon eaten up by

the hungry horizon

that never ends until

it lusts for its own death.

and you will never even remember

who i am

as you have never really known me

and i wont remember you either

as i have never really known you

today, the sun sinks in the west

tomorrow it will do too

and it will never end

it will never end

Whales

"Whales"

by m.p. macariola

drawn on the icy screen

of raindrops,

are the lines of sorrow

where swims

the whales,

continuously ramming

at my chest,

to break it.

and swim

in the boxed ocean

that is my heart

have you sent those

whales to set you free,

my little fish?

do you seek

freedom?

even if...

it costs you

my life...

Polaris

"Polaris"

by m.p macariola

I long

to count your

heartbeats and

maybe understand

whats being spoken

during those in-betweens:

could it be

me?

:who foolishly tries

to define what the silence

between us means,

the clamor of it,

the discord of uncertainty...

our unspoken love affair

that you could never know about,

my madness that you could not

understand,

my heart that beats inside your chest,

that you would naively call

as my

folly,

is what i posses as i

long to posses your heart:

a justice as you already had mine

and still you fail to acknowledge it,

you fail to hear whats being spoken

in between my heartbeats,

you, my northern star,

my fire,

my sky

whom i long to hear

heartbeats from

lives in mine

Jejemon

this is one of the shallowest poems ive ever written...

but its funny hahaha

"jejemon"

by m.paolo macariola

May kumislap

sa cellphone ko

nang nagtext ka ng

"eow powhz"

sinundan mo pa ng

"txtbaxkz pfuh plsz"

biglang nanlambot

ang aking tuhod,

at kumulo ang aking

kape

umusok ang

cellphone

sumabog ang batterya,

bumuka ang lupa

nagpakita ang diablo

ginising nya ako

sa sobrang gulat ay

natabig ko ang kape't

nabasa ang aking cellphone

(ngunit di ito sumabog)

sayang naman

Like magic

"Like magic"

By m. paolo macariola

Watching you speak,

i know that

surely

there is magic

the way your words

hover and levitate

against the gravity

around us,

its syllables gently

falling

into petals

that will sprout into flowers

as soon as they

hit the ground

and who knows?

i just might pick them up

the moment you start

brushing your hair

with the sun's rays

or as soon as

you get distracted

by the butterflies

flouncing everytime

you flutter

those eyelashes

and if you ever catch me

stooping for your flowers,

you'd just look at me

and smile.

then surely

it would be magic

Touch

"Touch"

by m. paolo macariola

our arms brushed

in the moist of the afternoon;

our first touch,

the first kiss of the holes

on our skin,

where breathes sea currents

nurtured by the smiling sun.

the pichi pichis

you held could have felt

the tremors, the undersea volcanoes

inside my chest,

erupting...

into the moist of the afternoon

sprinkled like sand

on our arms

when they touched into earthquakes

from our colliding

continents

Charon

"Charon"

by m.paolo macariola

immortal are the

withered roses that you held,

my beautiful corpse

like an oath

to kiss the grave of his lips,

filled with the worms of promise,

his arms are the abyss.

where the crows await.

i could be your pallbearer,

your charon,

to sing of the end,

chant it:

immortal are the withered roses,

you will be at one with them...

i will take you there,

to be imprisoned in hades,

where you would rot near me

drowning

in the worms of his embrace.

but first you must be

at one with the crows

-- you must be stripped of your flesh.

the bell of crows accompany

your march,

towards the end, the beginning of it,

where awaits your coffin of thorns,

your finale,

where you would finally depart

with an oath...

and so i leave with mine:

to swim in a sea of skeletons,

to throw myself at the crows,

to be void of a heart,

to rot,

to die

as you kiss his lies

I, Charon shall await

the coming of crows,

your fall to hades

Midnight waltz

"midnight waltz"

By m.paolo macariola

we once again take part

in this hopeless dance

ascending and descending

endless stairways

of heartbeats

and in-betweens,

we lose shadows,

shapeless

like the waning clock

striking towards dawn.

above us,

ogling stars bury

themselves behind clouds,

our hands dig up flesh.

we chase gasping echoes

with hushed whispers,

our bodies imitate waterfalls,

water against water,

spiraling into chambers of circles

that outline our

perfect waltz.

slowly we push for

the final steps,

breaking the last shards

of moonlight,

drowning out heaven

with the last treble of waterfalls,

we catch the last fragments

of darkness with

our fingertips,

and grasp the true meaning

of dawn.

Succubus

"Succubus"

By m.paolo macariola

My succubus

have you been

sleeping with

mortals again?

sneaking from the darkness,

under the bed

your luscious lips

opened up and

swallowed the night,

the whole of it

Charm me with your poetry,

your undying cliches

i am the devil

and

tonight we dance in hell

and its euphoric flames.

persuade me with your lines,

your lies,

your malicious tears

but there is no sympathy,

my succubus

have you

been sleeping

with mortals again?

Gambit

"Gambit"

by m.paolo macariola

We raise the ante as

the city lights come

to life

you bluff affection

continuously

raising

and reraising

Flirtations

until....

all in

gambles everything

and dares me

to call on your advances

Stranger Aphrodite

"stranger aphrodite"

By m.Paolo macariola

A yard

of galaxies

could have

hovered

between us

contracting

and

expanding

like blackholes

pulsing

into the heart

of space

but....

we

could no more

than specks of dust

you and i

drifting aimlessly

into

distant oblivions

we depart

nameless

like the ancient stars

--For her, a stranger still

Sodom and Gomorah

"Sodom and Gomorrah"

By m.Paolo macariola

I.

We revel

with the

gods of sodom

in our profound

nakedness

partaking in

insatiable rituals of

sacrifice

--and longing

legs spread,

thirsting for fire.

II.

To assume

forgiveness is to

come face to face

with the cold sunrise

In our desolate

nakedness,

we thirst for what is

insatiable

and revel in the dust.

New moon

new moon
by paolo macariola

dawns awakens above us
a vast neon blue
spilling across oceans
as did our happiness

until twilight came
and colored our guilt
we try to measure what we see
with our emptiness
imitating the foolish sky

but everything darkens
when the world fades to black
the moon weeps
it haunts us

defining commas

"defining commas"
by paolo macariola

sometimes i forget
to pause at the commas
and maybe take a deep breath
everytime i read that old letter of yours,

the same way i stop
for a fleeting moment
to catch a glimpse of you
before our lips challenge embers.

strange, how a mark
made with the faintest sleight of hand
could resemble the ocean's silent longing
for the sun,

as any body of water
such as the raindrop
awaits that certain ray of light
to forge a rainbow,

as any star
endures the day
to breathe in
the first whisper of a night.

and thus i learned:
a comma is a gate
of pauses that slowly opens
to reveal its true intent,

it is the gap which fills the absence
within another absence.
an assumption of something
to come. a prolonged adlib

that delays the climax
of a tragic ending
and a definite farewell
of conclusive defeat.

then it came to me
that maybe this emptiness
is your heart's true intent.
and it ends,

"oblivion"

"oblivion"

by paolo macariola

my heart is a sea of shadows

camouflaged in ice

my soul is in the abyss

i am in oblivion

i bleed now

as new wounds peek from old scars

you walk away from me

in the silence

of my own pain

i used to wish

that your heart is a sanctuary

where mine could strip off its armor

and reveal its true nakedness

but your words still

repeat itself hollowly inside my chest

my heart is a sea of shadows

waiting for oblivion

"confession of the innocent"

"confession of the innocent"

by paolo macariola

far into the darkness

sprawls a thousand corpses

rotting in its innocence

like wild flowers

i am a murderer

and tonight i shall kill again

in praise of the blind gods

in whose mercy lets murderers like me

wander unforgiven

to cut another wrist

to slit another throat

and to squeeze the life

out of another heart

clamoring for redemption

this is my conviction

there is blood in my hands

that could never seek forgiveness

so i dig another grave

into my own skin

to bury a hundred more corpses

to hear their last breath

and to forget

yes, to forget

how they used to be me

"underwater"

"underwater"

by paolo macariola

to dream of coming to surface

is to forget the waves

that has rippled

whispers of imprisonment

above our murky existence

hence we try

to imagine ourselves as stars

willingly trapped in the ocean sky

that falls into fireballs

after eternities

of aimless combustion

but we are no more than a constellation of two stones

you and i

so we forget the waves

and wish for sunlight

we come to surface

only to find ourselves

in some part of the world

where the sun never rises