i wrote this when i was kinda angry with a friend, though i already forgave her
its really self explanatory though

“Escaping vendetta”



You murmured to the wind
Your secrets, the meaning of your soul
And watched it consume the pallid flame in your eyes
Like your rivers drowned in melancholy
And betrayal
--the smile on your lips has disappeared
Vendetta lies within

The tears from your eyes
Reflects the scorn you feel
Like a river in an unhampered flow
Full of voiceless stones
; desiring vendetta
In disdain of a friend’s duplicity
--the wind could no longer carry the ashes of your soul

Is there a graceful way escaping this?
Your rivers have dried up
Consuming itself in its own melancholy
Washing out the ashes of your soul
--your heart is full of voiceless stones
Surfacing betrayal, scorn and shattered amity
Failing to unearth
The crux of your vendetta

Again I ask
For a graceful way escaping this
-- Betrayal
-- Scorn
-- Vendetta

forever in silence

I wrote this when me and my girlfriend had a fight




“Forever in silence”
By: Paolo Macariola


We could spend forever like this
In silence, in relapse
I don’t want to hear you say
What my character means
Like in some outdated fairytale

I would watch you
Not looking into your eyes
Feeling my core surrender
All the while knowing,
How you never understood my glances

Do you know what you mean?
Tell me, what do we mean anyway?
Or what will happen if rain falls upwards?
You really are everything
Even if time falls backwards

In some certain parts of meaning
Numb is defined as lack of feeling
Did you feel my warm breath?
I am soaked from the rain
Pouring from the deep well of my heart

Again must I ask?
If you wanted to spend forever like this.

Outsider

everyone is near...
me, im surrounded
i can hear their voices
talking in fast whispers--
sometimes in a hush


are they talking about me?

everyone is near...
i can almost hear their breaths fragment
they do not know my name--
nor could they feel my shadow
they look at me

i could not look back

i suddenly find myself asking

why am i here?

Another tagalog entry

about my ex... its very sad

"alaala sa unos"

kandilang nauupos ang magdamag
bago pa man bumuhos ang ulan
ramdam ko ang lamig na dala ng hangin
kumutan mo ako ng iyong mga ala ala

masarap isipin na mayakap kang muli
o mahawakan man lang ang iyong mga kamay
saksi ang mga anino ng kahapon
sa aking pangungulila

hindi ko nais na tumigil ang ulan
at masilip ang bahagharing pumipinta sa langit
maaalala ko lamang ang iyong ngiti
na nagtanim ng lungkot sa aking ulirat

Damp

i wrote this for a girl who broke my heart... she was my ex but i know that she could never love me back


I can feel your memory
brush against the pale of my skin
the wind caresses my cheeks
it is late evening

Here no fire could give me warmth
no silence could give me comfort
tonight is an endless whisper
drowning in your memories

i heard the wind say
that you could never love me back
letting the wetness on my cheeks
flow into oblivion

Lost

this is for one of my closest female friends.. she says she feels lost right now... (so do i)

out of sight
you were in this long corridor
like a fading star
you slowly disappear

i am feeling (or am i?)
a slow demise
i am empty
i am numbed

where would you go?
you stand still
here beside me
you are so far away

to some abyss
deep within your oceans mourning
i will find you
and carry you above the darkness

we are not lost
you found me
i found you

the ocean has stopped its mourning
tommorow will be better

On a saturday

yesterday, (saturday) my girlfriend went to cambodia....
and i really got a bad feeling about it.
she went there for OJT and i miss her already....

"on a saturday"

you flew across the sky
parting clouds through dense air
diffusing smog and daylight along the way
and i wonder--
if you ever saw me look up?

if you tire yourself from flying too far
you can always rest atop some tall trees
to brush off frost from your wings-- or hair
but you can always come back
you will know where to find me
im mostly under the stars

sometimes i would like to ask the sky
i know it won't answer back
that's when i would look up
will you ever come back?

i will miss you.